


waking up

by soare



Category: Messiah Project - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2015-08-07
Packaged: 2018-04-13 10:29:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4518411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soare/pseuds/soare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m getting sleepy, Ariga.”</p>
<p>“You can sleep all you want when we go back home.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	waking up

> _**"** When you lose someone who is your entire universe, it hits you. All the chances you didn’t take, all the things you didn’t say. Because the truth is that you think you have forever, but you don’t. You never do. **"**_

 

There is a lot of shouting and gunshots, followed by a discomforting static ringing through in Ariga’s earpiece. The noises wouldn’t have created an unsettling feeling deep within if he was actually there in person, but all he’s left is speculation and dread.

“Kaito! Can you hear me? Mamiya?!” Shirazaki is yelling next to him, panicking enough for both of them.

Off to the side their senpai, Mitsumi, is furiously typing away at a computer – trying to reestablish their communication line and the trackers that momentarily went offline. It feels like waiting for a ticking time bomb to go off when Ariga is stuck listening to static noise instead of his Messiah's voice.

“I got signal back,” Mitsumi says with a glimpse of hope.

Immediately, Shirazaki and Ariga are standing on either side of Mitsumi’s shoulders and silently wait for a more definite status update on their Messiahs.

_“..–ku! Haku!”_ Kaidou’s voice wheezes through the terrible communication line, but a relief upon them all still.

_“Yuuri and I have the data!”_ There’s panic and urgency in Kaidou’s voice, and a lot of unpleasant background noise. According to the security cameras that Haku managed to hack into, there’s two dark dressed figures heading for the underground parking garage where their escape car is at.

But two people doesn’t add up.

“Where is Mamiya?” Ariga’s voice is close to yelling volume, but he tries very, very hard to keep a steady and calm appearance.

(Be like Mitsumi-san. Stay calm, don’t jump to conclusions. Mamiya is fine. _Mamiya has to be fine_ ––)

  
_“Ariga?”_

Mamiya’s voice is so soft and quiet that Ariga almost couldn’t hear it over the static noise buzzing in his earpiece.

He releases a breath, that he did not realize he was holding in until now, and Ariga keeps a hand pressed up against his earpiece. “Mamiya? Are you okay? Why are you not with Kaidou-san and Yuuri––“

_“T-There were people coming. I stayed behind to make sure Yuuri and Kaidou-san got away safely… Ah…”_

“What’s wrong?” Panic rises within Ariga when he hears the strain in Mamiya’s voice getting progressively worse.

There’s a bit of shuffling and heavy panting coming from Mamiya’s end of the communication line. Then another thump before Mamiya let’s out a deep breath, and everything is quiet for a moment.

_“I can’t move. I-I'm bleeding out _…_ ”_

Immediately Ariga turns on his heels and starts to head for the door. He almost makes it out too, if it weren’t for Shirazaki suddenly throwing himself in front of Ariga’s way and blocking his path.

“We’re not supposed to leave our post, Ariga. Back-up is on their way to take care of the situation. Mamiya will be fine––“

“What if he isn’t?” Ariga has once trusted Shirazaki before during their temporary Messiah arrangement. That trust has never been compromised, even now when they are mere colleagues, yet Ariga is narrowing his eyes and fisting the collar of Shirazaki’s jacket into his hands.

“You and Mitsumi-san should go meet up with the others, but let me go––just let me go to _him_ ––“

_“Ariga.”_

His grip on Shirazaki’s collar loosens, the sudden anger is now replaced by concern and worry at the sound of Mamiya’s voice.

_“Stay where you are,”_ He thinks he can hear Mamiya’s voice cracking. But if he did then Mamiya is quick to recover once he takes another deep breath. _“I don’t think I’m going to make it.”_

“All the more reason why I should go.”

_“Don’t, Ariga,”_ Surprisingly, a huff of laughter – reeking of desperation – escapes from Mamiya, _“Please.”_

The fragility of Mamiya’s voice is enough to have the fight leave Ariga’s tired form. There is no point in arguing about this anymore. This is the sort of job they all signed up for. People get hurt, there will be casualties, working for the Church isn’t a glamorous lifestyle; and every single one of them knew that.

Ariga just never expected to be on the losing side of this battle. Not like this, not with Mamiya bleeding out on the other side of town.

_“Ariga,”_ Mamiya says quietly in that soft, gentle voice. _“You… You should get off the line.”_

He doesn’t want Ariga to listen to this. He doesn’t want Ariga to listen to his Messiah dying.

How completely and utterly selfish of Mamiya.

Ariga is not the one riddled with bullet holes, or left all alone in a cold, dark place. Yet he’s not surprised because this is exactly who Mamiya Seiren is – always worrying about others more than himself, always loving others more than he will ever love himself.

Ariga lowers his head and closes his eyes, allowing himself a moment of vulnerability, “I’m not leaving.”

Miles and miles away, holding the bullet hole in his side that can’t stop blood pouring from his body, Mamiya gives a sigh of relief.

 

The mission is to go on.

Kaidou and Yuuri left the premises on orders to meet up with Mitsumi’s team. They can’t afford to go back and get Mamiya or else they risk compromising the entire mission. They all know this, Ariga knows this better than anyone else. Which is probably why Mitsumi and Shirazaki are busy preparing to meet up with the others, leaving Ariga alone, sitting off to the side, listening to the strained breaths of his Messiah.

“Talk to me,” Ariga says, trying to sound as calm as he can while he ignores every twitch and instinct in his body to go to his Messiah right now.

A chuckle buzzes through the communication line, and Ariga can hear the smile that’s in Mamiya’s voice. _“About what, Ariga?”_

“Anything.”

There’s a sharp intake of breath on and a rough cough Mamiya’s end that makes Ariga feel his chest tighten. He wants to give Mamiya one last chance to talk, a petty excuse to keep Mamiya conscious for as long as possible. Any reason to prolong the inevitable.

Mamiya clears his throat and lets out a quiet sing-song hum, as if contemplating, and Ariga can exactly see the way Mamiya tilts his chin down towards his chest. The way Mamiya always looks down in a shy manner that makes him look smaller, a habit of Mamiya’s that Ariga has noticed and grown used to over their time together.

_“I’m sorry,”_ Mamiya finally says.

Which Ariga isn’t even the slightest bit surprised of.

“Sorry for what?” Ariga decides to humor the other (when normally he would tell Mamiya that there’s nothing for him to apologize for).

_“Sorry for not being a better Messiah,”_ Mamiya replies with a forced smile in his tone.

_“I really tried,”_ Mamiya continues; which Ariga is thankful for because he doesn’t know what to say. _“I wasn’t a very good Messiah with Yuuri. Then we were reassigned, and I tried so hard to catch up to you. You deserve the best, after all.”_

“Mamiya,” Ariga lets out a tired sigh as he stands up. He begins to pace back and forth, welcoming any sort of distraction. “Don’t talk like this is a test. Like we’re a test.”

_“But isn’t it a test?”_

Ariga doesn’t say anything. He can’t say anything because Mamiya is right in every way possible. Everything they have done has always been for the Church.

“Back-up is going to arrive in twenty-five minutes,” Ariga changes the subject. “Just hold on, Mamiya.”

_“I’ll try,”_ Mamiya lets out a wavering chuckle, _“but I don’t think my arm is very good at holding on anymore.”_

It’s supposed to be a joke, but all Ariga can think of is Mamiya sitting on his bed back at their shared dorm. A violin propped up on Mamiya’s left shoulder while his right one sways back and forth that produces a soothing melody.

He tries not to think about how he will never see that breathtaking sight ever again.

 

_“I’m getting sleepy, Ariga.”_

“You can sleep all you want when we go back home.”

_“Only if you offer to tuck me in,”_ Mamiya has the audacity to tease, _“I know you always cover me with the blanket whenever I doze off.”_

“Touché.”

 

“Mamiya,” Ariga swallows, trying to force a lump down his throat. “I––“

_“I know,”_ Mamiya curtly cuts in, followed by a deep breath as if everything he’s been holding in is finally allowed to be let loose.

_“I know, Ariga,”_ He repeats, _“It’s fine, you don’t have to say anything.”_

People always say that Mamiya is slow or clumsy – aloof even – but the simple truth is that Mamiya knows Ariga best. Even when Ariga never says anything, because silence has always been a better companion for him, but somehow Mamiya is suddenly there and he just knows.

_“I know,”_ There’s a more noticeable crack in Mamiya’s voice this time, followed by a sniff and then a gentle sigh of laughter. _“Thank you.”_

Ariga tries to pretend that his eyes don’t sting.

 

“Mamiya?” Ariga doesn’t get an immediate response. So, a little louder this time, he tries again, “Hey, Mamiya?”

_“Hm?”_ Mamiya finally mumbles, sounding so very, very tired.

He suddenly needs a moment, leaning forward to cover his face with his hands that were propped up on his legs. When Ariga closes his eyes, removing his sense of sight, he can hear more clearly the shallow breaths on the other end of the line that were getting fainter with each second.

Eventually he removes his hand from his face and sits back up straight.

“You can go, Mamiya.”

There’s silence for a moment before Mamiya asks, _“Are you going to be okay then?”_

“Yeah,” Ariga licks his lips and exhales a long breath. “I’ll be fine.”

_“ _…_ Okay.”_

And this is it. They both knew the only reason why Mamiya kept breathing is for Ariga. Mamiya is clinging onto life, trying so hard to fight the pain, all for his Messiah.

Because this is exactly who Mamiya Seiren is.

The beautiful, young man who is always worrying about others more than himself, always loving others more than he will ever love himself.

_“You’ll be fine,”_ Mamiya isn’t sure if he’s saying that to reassure Ariga or himself; but those are words that they both must believe in.

_“Thank you, Ryou.”_

 

Mamiya falls quiet, and Ariga only hears static noise.

 

 

  
“Back-up is on site!”

“We’ve got no vitals!”

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry
> 
> i have it stuck in my head that mamiya is gonna get killed off in hagane because he's not going to be in the movie that's coming out after hagane


End file.
